I’m sure all of us have (had) crushes. We are plagued from age 8 upwards, with special feelings for a certain person of the opposite gender.
What do these feelings mean? Does it mean we are in love with that person? That we will one day marry them? That God is giving us a sign?
And just as we decide they are the perfect person for us, our horizons shift, and we are suddenly “in love” with someone else. Confusing, huh?
What are They?
According to Dr. Patricia Weerakoon, a crush is caused by your brain releasing surges of dopamine to your brain.
These feelings of infatuation come and go as your body goes through puberty, and as your body adapts from an immature child, to a fully fledged adult, ready to be intimate and committed to one person.
They come and go. Sometimes I look at someone I once had a crush on and I’m shocked, thinking “What did I ever see in that person.”
Sometimes crushes can form from someone else giving you attention, sometimes they are just your brain. Both of these are most likely to be temporary.
Why do We Have Them?
Crushes are there to prepare us for marriage to someone. Crushes are our brains’ way of practicing falling in love. Isn’t God’s design amazing?
One thing I’ve noticed is that as I get older (and dare I say “more mature”) is that my crushes get longer. But I’ve also found that I’m able to look through my feelings and ask myself questions, including “What is this person really like?”, and, “Is this the sort of person that I want to spend the rest of my life with?”
We must be very careful about taking our crushes seriously (something I have done in the past), as this can lead to problems, and I have seen a lot of embarrassment and shame come from situations where people act on their feelings before they are ready.
Always ask God
The best thing with crushes is talking to God. He knows you, and loves you more than anyone else ever will. He will give you the love that you crave.
Also, pray for that crush. God loves that person more than you ever will, and he may use this opportunity to get into that person's life in a new way.
If you do this, you will use this opportunity to grow closer to God, through your crush, and it can be a beautiful experience, instead of a painful one.